I’m feeling a little sensitive today. I had jazz class this evening and I guess I was just hoping that I would be able to boost my self-esteem if i nailed the choreography or something, but that didn’t happen.

*Content warning: dieting, weightloss*

Tomorrow I have a call with my dietician and I’m not feeling confident about it. My diet the post-Vegas has been pretty bad, and I’m also an emotional eater so my recent moody episodes have contributed to my poor meal choices and snacking. I’ve got my second weigh-in with the weightloss program on June 6th and I’m literally somehow supposed to be down ten pounds by then. Deadlines that other people give me aren’t my strong suit. It also hasn’t felt like I’ve had any support from this weightloss program. They call me to talk about my diet, my exercise, and then set up appointments to weigh me, and that’s it. It’s really hard to lose weight on your own and although I’ve found it at least semi-helpful to have someone pat me on the back for my intermittent fasting or weekly dance classes, I need more support.

Speaking of support, I could really use a support network at the moment. I’ve been feeling lonely and like I don’t have anyone to chitchat with. It’s been almost a week since I took a break from my BTS group chat, and I miss them, but I feel really needy right now. I don’t want to go back and be like “here are all of my problems, please ignore all of your own problems and comfort me” because that’s not fair.

So, yeah. I’m tired and sensitive and I don’t feel confident.