Negative Emotions

You know what sucks? When you’re having a good day and then something in your mind just snaps and suddenly everything feels awful. I’m pretty sure this happens to me every time I’m about to get my period, but it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with since I just feel like shit. Right now it’s like my mind is bringing up a lot of old issues and it’s really hard for me to be anything but annoyed or angry or terrible to myself. I’m frustrated about this from every aspect, too, which isn’t helping.

I’m not entirely sure how to channel these negative feelings into something productive, let alone positive. My usual thing would be to have a bath but I already had a shower so that’s out of the question. I could probably eat some junk food but I don’t want to add fuel to the flames of self-loathing, you know? So I’m just kind of sitting here fuming at my laptop trying to take out my anger at someone that isn’t my husband (unfortunately for him, I haven’t been very successful at this either).

On top of all of my negative emotions right now, I’m also feeling pretty stressed about my assignments. I finished off the second technical drawing on some tracing paper but I still have yet to attempt scanning the A3 paper using my A4 scanner. I’m worried that I won’t be able to scan it successfully and that I’ll have to mail it in or photograph it, and that it’ll still be wrong and I’ll have to redo the assignment and resubmit it.

Basically I’m just giving myself so many reasons to be upset right now and I wish my brain could refuse them and focus on something else instead of making me feel like crap.

day 137 negative emotions