Finally heard back about my tonsillectomy, although it’s the opposite of what I was expecting. The NHS has decided not to approve me funding for a tonsillectomy, their reason being that they don’t have enough evidence to warrant the surgery.

Inhale. Exhale.

Listen. I’ve spent the last seven months working with the NHS in the hope that my tonsils would be removed from my body. I suffer from repeat bouts of illness every two months. My tonsils are so cavernous they could probably fit a BMW in the folds. I wanted to have faith that the NHS would help me, and they did a very good job of stringing me along the way, but after months of wasted time and effort spent preparing for a surgery that they have decided they will not do, I feel angry and foolish. I wanted so badly to trust in publicly funded healthcare, but as I have said numerous times before, the NHS is better in theory than it is in practice.

And now I’m back to square one. Still suffering from shitty tonsils.

I ought to go to a private health clinic and just pay for the surgery out of pocket. Next week I’ll hear back about what my ENT wants to do about the NHS’s decision to deny funding. I’m hoping she can refer me to a private institution to get it done or if there is a way that I can have the surgery done through the NHS but pay out of pocket anyway. This entire situation is ridiculous. When I got off the phone with the DHC I couldn’t help but burst into tears once the reality sunk in.

Honestly I was half expecting the final decision to be a ‘no’ but I was really hoping I would be wrong.