After looking at one of my old Photobucket accounts and reading my LiveJournal entries from 2005, I’ve come to the realization that 13-year-old me had way too many bad friends. It’s hard to explain without going into detail, but the gist of it is that I often saw the good in people even though they treated me poorly. This behavior was especially prevalent in middle school and carried on throughout high school and eventually college, and now that I’m twenty-five years old I can’t help but feel so sad for my younger self.
Reading back my account of what happened between me and my “best friends” in 8th grade made me wonder what high school might have been like if I had completely dropped those friends at the first sign of trouble. I stayed friends with a lot of people even after they made me feel like crap, and I think that’s probably my biggest regret in life. All of this stuff happened at least twelve years ago, but I still feel bad for wasting all that time in toxic relationships.
As an adult, I think I’m pretty good at sniffing out bad people (although let’s be real, this stuff is always easier to see in hindsight) so I feel fairly confident in saying that I don’t let bad people stick around for too long. I know I shouldn’t dwell on the past, but remembering some of the things that happened between me and my supposed best friends in middle school just makes me feel sad! I spent almost six years being friends with people who stabbed me in the back over and over again. After a while that sort of thing really wrecks you, you know? No wonder I’m so skeptical and protective these days.
Anyway, it’s hard for me to really nail down what I’m feeling about this but I thought it was poignant and that I ought to do my best to jot down my thoughts while they’re still fresh. Hopefully this makes some sort of sense! I know that my 2005-year-old self would absolutely understand where I’m coming from, although if I’m being totally honest I don’t think she would take my advice in the slightest, hah! Perhaps I’ll elaborate on this subject at later date, but until then I’ll see you tomorrow!