Holding Myself Back

My tutor sent an email in response to the list of questions I had for her, but after I read her answers I wasn’t feeling motivated to continue with my assignments. I huffed and puffed around the flat for an hour or two before looking up “motivational meditation” videos on YouTube. The video I watched was very helpful and I came away feeling energized and able to look at my assignments with new eyes.

One thing I realized during the meditation is that I am holding myself back from finishing this module because I am scared of failing. My assessment from the last module wasn’t nearly as glowing as I had hoped it would be, which just means I haven’t been trusting my gut as much with this module. I hate doing a half-assed job when I know I can do it all the way so I’ve been really hard on myself to get everything right this time around. I’m way too hard on myself to be perfect about this stuff and I wish I knew some ways to lessen that load on myself.

Anyway, after my meditation I hopped to it and I actually finished two assignments. They weren’t easy, that’s for sure, but I was definitely making them out to be a lot harder than they actually were. I feel good about finishing off those assignments and tomorrow I’m going to work on the last assignments and see if I can submit them all by the time the weekend rolls around. Since I didn’t get a break between the last module and this latest one I’m going to make sure to email my tutor and see if she can wait a few days before grading my assignments and opening up the next module. I seriously need some stress and guilt-free days and it would be so good to have them over the weekend and going into next week.

Yesterday I was so tired I forgot to include my latest Sims 4 speed build video, and now there’s two! The third part to this Modern Zen series will be made public on Friday so I’ll post it tomorrow. Anyway, that’s all I have for today. Wish me luck on my assignments and I’ll see you tomorrow!

day 175 holding myself back