Today has been a bit of a struggle for me. I had the best intentions, I really did. I got up before noon, I got dressed, and I even made it to the studio before I said I would. But I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.

When I got to the studio, an overwhelming feeling of failure swept over me. My brain did that really uncool thing where it dredges up every example it can to prove how unsuccessful I am and it really killed any momentum I had going into the day. I love making candles, truly, but running a small business by myself is really fucking hard!! I struggle enough to post on my own social media, let alone the ones I use for my business.

So after talking with Alex about how I was feeling, I eventually decided that it would be a good idea to find someone to help with social media an hour a week. I’ve never hired anyone so I’m really nervous about the whole thing, but ultimately it will be a good thing. I’ve posted the job online and I’ve already got a few candidates so that’s reassuring at least. I really hope that bringing someone on to help me with social media takes some of the weight off of my shoulders in regards to my business.

I’m so stressed out about money and for as long as I can remember it’s been painfully difficult for me to ask for money, whether I need it or am owed it, etc. With the upcoming trip to Vegas I’m having to confront that fear a lot in regards to tickets and hotel rooms. I just really hate it and thinking about it stresses me out and makes me super uncomfortable.

On top of that, we ran into a huge problem with our flights. You may recall that I wrote about us buying new tickets directly from the airline and how we intended to get a refund on our original tickets. Keep in mind, we paid extra to be able to cancel our flights. When I came home from the studio Alex told me that the original tickets we purchased could only be refunded 90% and that it wouldn’t be a refund but a voucher. UGH! How infuriating is that? Alex sat on the phone with all of the different parties involved for hours and we eventually figured out the best thing for us to do would be to cancel the new tickets for a full refund, and pay out of our asses to be able to choose our seats with the third party company. We’ll still have to pay for checked baggage on the day, which sucks, but it seems like there is nothing else we can do now.

So it’s been a stressful day. I’m still feeling fragile about my business and money in general, but I do feel better knowing I’ve got a really understanding and supportive partner to help smooth things over. Looking forward to a time when money isn’t a problem, though. Hoping that time comes sooner rather than later.