Find the Next Clearing

Yesterday was a complete write off for me. Actually, so was most of today. I kind of just suddenly found myself in a negative thought spiral and everything went to shit. I ended up crying and felt really numb. It was not fun.

The thing that sort of set it off was an email I got from my estranged mother the day before. It was a single sentence and to a third party it wouldn’t seem problematic. Nice, even! But it brought up so many negative memories and feelings for me. It took almost a whole day for me to react because my subconscious was chewing on it and creating the perfect environment for my anxiety and depression to pull me down. It was kind of like I had a false sense of security, too.

Anyway, today has been a little better towards the end. I had dance rehearsal and that lifted my mood because I got out of my thought spiral for a bit. Then I had a bubble bath when I got home and that helped a little bit, too. I don’t know if I’m “out of the woods” yet but in my experience there are always going to be dark patches, you just have to keep going until you find the next clearing.