Weighing On My Mind

I’ve been having a hard time sleeping past nine in the morning! It’s partly from being too warm but also I reckon it’s an anxiety thing. I think I’m feeling stressed out from something because I’ve noticed an increase in negative habits I do when I’m anxious like overeating. My best guess is that I’m starting to feel nervous about my dance team’s performance in a few weeks but it’s difficult to tell because off the top of my head I don’t actually feel nervous about it.

One thing that has been on my mind has been my body image, or more specifically: my chest meat. I was chatting with Alex about all of the ways my chest negatively impacts me on a daily basis and I think I’ve convinced myself that my life would improve without all this chest meat. Then that lead to me coming to terms with the fact that I don’t feel like me spending £5k to get rid of my boobs is very responsible at all. I think I would feel differently if I had my own real source of income because then I wouldn’t feel bad about spending my own money on something like that. Regardless, we can’t afford anything that costs £5k right now so it’s not even a real issue! I guess when you have something literally weighing on you it tends to feel like even more of a burden when you can’t do anything about it straight away.

In other news, this evening after we got back from the studio to package up orders we were surprised to see the grey neighbour cat sitting just outside of the catio! He’s quite a young cat and over the past few months we’ve witnessed him as he’s gone through the trials and tribulations of claiming a territory in our neighbourhood. He growled at the cats a little bit but he just seemed annoyed that he couldn’t make my garden his territory because there were already four cats there. He laid down for a bit and then I went out and played with him until he got distract and moved on. I think I’ve said this before but I’ll say it again: I just want to befriend as many cats as I possibly can!! Hopefully the grey cat comes back to our garden and I can convince him it’s not so bad sharing it with my cats.