Last night I gave myself a shag hair cut. It was a little spontaneous but also I’d finally gotten fed up with my hair enough to do something about it so it’s not like it was a total surprise. I just needed to give my hair some shape because after a whole year it’s grown a lot and gotten totally shapeless. The shag was really easy to do – I just sectioned off the front and the back of my hair and trimmed until it felt right. I guess that’s kind of a vague way to describe it, but oh well.
So today’s been interesting! Alex dropped the car off for an MOT (luckily it passed and only cost us £40) and I woke up way too early. I tried to go have a nap later in the day but it just didn’t happen. I found out quite a few of my friends can’t make it to my Halloween birthday party next Saturday so that was a big bummer. I just want enough people to come to my party so that the amount of effort I’ve spent on the party is justified, you know? Admittedly, I had a little cry about it because birthdays have been a bit of a touchy subject for me in the past. I’ve had birthdays and halloween parties where nobody has shown up and it feels bad, man. It’s hard not to feel like I’m the reason why people can’t come, if that makes sense. Obviously I know that’s not true – sometimes stuff comes up! But my brain is a little tricky with this stuff and has a tendency to think it’s a reflection on how people see me as a friend/person.
I’m in a bit of a sad headspace tonight. Just generally feeling anxious about whether or not people will come to my party and second-guessing the overall vibe of the whole thing.
In happier news, Alex picked up the long garden stakes after work and we put them in the garden so we could see how the big mushrooms would look. They look soooo cool!!! I also put in the smaller garden stakes and was able to put a couple of the small mushrooms out so it was awesome to see my vision coming together. I’m so excited to get the big mushrooms finished so we can put them out. I would really like to get some solar fairy lights and string them up under the large mushrooms so maybe we can find some at Poundland or B&M!
After dinner tonight we went to Asda to pick up my pills and have a mooch around the store. I picked up some Halloween goodies for trick or treaters as well as some Kahlua for me and Alex, then we came home and made espresso martinis. It turns out that Alex is allergic to Kahlua or vodka!! His face got the same rash around it like it did during the summer when he had a fruit cider. He had an antihistamine shortly after I realised and now he’s looking all better. It’s so strange because he’s never had an allergic reaction to alcohol before.
Right, that’s it for today. Fingers crossed my anxiety quiets down soon. See you tomorrow.